4 Storeys Up is Going Down

When I climb 4 storeys up towards home
Am I any nearer to you?
100 steps towards that door
Am I any closer to you?

Most days, I walk up defeated
Looking down those steps, it seems harder and harder
Burden after burden, thoughts after thoughts
Those things that brings me down takes hold of me
And I’m tired of walking up there

Maybe I should just sit there on the stairs
Hit frustratingly on walls with my fist
Feel the pain that I’ve caused on us
And scar the paint with the tip of the keys
Maybe then I’ll feel better, maybe…

I can only fill my eyes with deep apologies
If I'm sane, I would have sealed my mouth with both hands
Ignore why the world is so offended when silence is my friend
Then I would not be in this losing battle
Mostly, losing you as well in it
My 4 storeys up is going down under...